Read Poem: ???, by Olivia Laughlin

Did I leave the laundry out for so long,
it flew away?
No longer could suspend the heat of the iron
Lose her wrinkle
Just to sink back onto this body
Did I hold my tongue for enough time?
Do I finally forget the shape of you?
Will the others stop tasting like an afterthought?
Will anyone meet me deeper than just the skin?
Will a terrible love be the only kind that finds me in this life?
And will everyone blame me
for planting seeds in the cracks of the concrete,
for seeing garden in single grass blade,
for mourning the sidewalk roses that became roadkill,
for crying about nothing,
and making nothing into everything,
for missing the one who ruined me?
My heart does not know the difference between
a venomous love
and a healing one
when I’ve never known the latter
When all I’ve known is kissing caskets to sleep
and tracing ghosts on the walls